Choosing ME

I couldn't sleep last night. I received word that I've been replaced in my ex's life. At first it didn't bother me, but then as I tried to rest my tired eyes, visions of him with her began to flood my mind. The surge of thoughts lead to a night of mixed emotions and self-reflection.

I am happy for him and I hope in many ways that I've taught him how to be a better partner. I thought about the good times I shared with him; however, I constantly reminded myself that he is still a man with a temper. It's so easy for us to sometimes focus on the good, that we forget or downplay the bad. Our brains like to tell us that the new person in our partner's life is going to get all the good stuff and more; however, this is not the case. People are people and they don't change over night. The new person will surely get the good stuff, but they will also receive all the junk and baggage that comes along with him or her.

Normally, I'm the one to jump into something after a break-up; however, this time my focus is truly on developing the relationship I have with ME. It has been two months in the "single world" and I know with each week I am becoming more capable of being content on my own.

It's at times scary to be alone; however, I feel an immense amount of courage and strength. There are times that I am lonely; however, I know that the sense of loneliness is only temporary. I want to be content with just being MJ. It's a struggle to not be on the prowl or think about if Mr. Potential is sitting next to me in the library or at a bar, but I'm working on it.

I know that I am a good partner and I know that I am capable of being a fabulous partner, if I give myself some time to be alone. I love who I am and all the horrible, wonderful and smart decisions I have made along the way. I am aware of my flaws and I strive to be a better ME. I'm living my life for ME and it might be the first time in many years that I can say without a doubt that I am not living to please anyone besides myself.

I encourage everyone to love themselves first before loving someone else. This will make you a healthy partner. Unhealthy people attract unhealthy partners. Set your standards high and don't settle because of the fear of being alone. Focus on you and God will bring the right person in during the right time.