(I wrote this entry August 4th, 2010 and I felt inclined to post it. It may give someone strength to make a tough decision for their future. Sometimes we have to go through hard times to find great times. I'm happy to say I'm standing on my own two feet again.)
So I never admitted it on this blog, but I moved in with my now ex-boyfriend. I've always believed that a man and woman should wait till marriage or engagement to shack up. However, I needed to touch the flame to know it was hot. This situation didn't fit the 'mefocused' theme and I let it slide from the page, but now I feel inclined to share.
The warm flame extinguished last night when I made it clear that today was my day to vacate. I did this because the more I learned about him, the more I knew I and any future kids (in my eyes) would be walking on egg shells. Before I even moved in, I knew something was not right; however, denial and the hope of love changing things made me think otherwise. His temper grew and with it my longing to escape. I care very deeply for this guy, but I realize this is not what I want out of a partner.
So I left. I feel horrible, miserable, sad, exhausted and unsure about my future; however, I know that I'll persevere. With Patience and time my heart will mend and I'll be back solid on my own two feet.
When your inner voice tells you to run you should get the fuck out! Or as my grandma said from her hospital bed, "Get the hell out!" Now those are words from a wise woman who has experienced a lifetime of disappointment and tough decisions.
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