Giving Up Alcohol

So I've had a rough week so far and the addition of a couple alcoholic beverages last night only added more stress into the mix. I just completed the first week of my last semester at UW-Madison and it's been hard because memories of my ex keep flashing into my mind. It also doesn't help that the guy sent me a drunk text the other night about missing me. Then I the following day gave in and texted him back that I missed him and wanted to see him...only for him to blow me off like his and my message mean nothing.

Well I went out with the girls last night. Had maybe 5 drinks with them and hit up the busy downtown Madison bars. It was fun at first, but then I wanted to escape home. I wasn't in the mood to scope out available drunk men or run into my ex. Which ironically happened at the end of evening when my girlfriends dragged me into State Street Brats. Low and behold he was there and so where all of his friends...lovely way to end my evening NOT.

I didn't stay long and stormed off to my good friend Sarah's apartment. I had time to finally lay down and think about my evening. I realized that alcohol only makes things worse, especially during this time change. So I'm not going to drink until my 23 birthday which is slightly over a month away. This is good because my body has been aching. I've been in denial over the past 6 months about my digestive disorder (ulcerative colitis). Alcohol and stress tend to make my intestines bleed. My stress level has been high and even one alcoholic drink seems to put me in crippling pain for the following three days. So I'm giving it up. This will keep me out of the bar scene...where the kind of man I want in my life won't be lurking. I also don't want to run into my ex anymore.

I tried giving him a second chance to come back into my life...which was stupid, but something I had to do because I had hope that his text message the other night was honest and trying. You know I think I finally understand why some people take so long to fall in love or place their guard down...it's to protect themselves from time periods like the one I'm going through. It's the worst feeling of wanting someone you can't have or quite frankly you shouldn't be with. It sucks when you've cared and known someone and then have to act as if strangers.

So no more alcohol for awhile. I need to let my body heal, mind focus and pay attention to the important things in my life. Thanks for reading.