Small Town Return

There is just something about small towns. They set my mind at ease and make me feel that my troubles are miles away. It's nice to take a mid-afternoon jog and reflect upon childhood memories that once seemed that they would never become tiny flashbacks in my young adult life.

Today I took in the fresh air from my hometown area, said "hello" to the people that I passed, admired parents playing with their children in the park and enjoyed catching up with a wonderful high school friend.

Returning to my hometown area reminds me of how good life was and still is. I realize that the once young rebellious child I was, has grown-up into becoming everything she knew she could be, but was afraid of becoming.

As a child, I never thought I'd grow up. Hours seemed like days and days felt like weeks and weeks nagged on as if they were years. Now I've reached the point where the opposite has occurred. My days slip bye me and become years so quickly and all I want is for today to last forever.

I love coming back to my hometown and being proud of who I am and where I've come from.

Where is my niche?

So it has been 5 weeks since I graduated and about four months of career searching; I'm starting to feel like a failure. As the days go bye I feel less and less sure of where things are going. I know I have the rest of my life to work full-time so I shouldn't rush into anything, but right now finding a full-time job would be amazing.

It would allow for me to know where I should relocate in the next 5 weeks (my lease is up Aug. 15), allow for me to know if my honey and I have a future together in Dane County, some money to plan a little vacation, and fill my day with productivity.

All I need to do is find a niche...some place I can grow and develope into a career leader.

Unemployment Depression

What is this? Am I suffering from unemployment depression? I find myself sleeping often and waking up every half an hour to the thought of "oh shit I don't have a job" or "oh no, I don't know where my life is going," or this one, "fuck my life!"

So I've graduated without a full-time job. I thought this whole go to college and start a career was going to be a little easier. Especially because I applied myself during school with internships, jobs, student organizations and volunteer opportunities.

I have an education, a resume which no employer seems to care to look at until during our interview, experience in a variety of marketing areas, two part-time jobs, an unpaid internship in the capitol and an apartment lease which is about to end in two months.

Where is my life going? God help me.