A Christmas Reflection

Dear Santa: I think you forgot about me. Where is Mr. Good Enough that I’ve been asking for all year? ♥ MJ

I’m so thankful the holidays will soon be behind me. The joy of Christmas appeared in short spurts of time, but was never lasting and magical. It was my first Christmas without my mother, where I was single and my immediate family did not gather on Christmas Eve. Being alone on Christmas was at times depressing; however, I experienced humility by volunteering my time with the homeless and less fortunate at the Salvation Army’s Christmas Fest. 

I did a good amount of praying before the event. I asked for the Lord to enlighten me, to calm any fears I had, to use my personality for his good and to soften my heart to those less fortunate. Boy did the Lord answer! 

That morning I shook thousands of hands and gave hugs to children and adult of all ages, sex and race. I’ve always had a fear of the homeless; however, this experience calmed my trepidation. I saw these people as individuals and not as threats. I wanted to take away their pain and to spring joy into their Holiday. I plan to spend future holidays volunteering for the Salvation Army. The experience has opened my eyes to the need in Milwaukee County and has made me realize how narrow minded I am at times towards different groups of people. 


So if life has you down, go out and do something selfless. You might learn more about who you are or find an area of your life that needs improvement. 

Oil & Water Never Mix

Note to self: oil and water never mix!

I did it again. I tried to make it work with a man who I knew from the get go was not what I was looking for. Surprised? I assume not! Why do I do this to myself? SMH

This time I dated a 'bad boy'. He was a tall, husky, biker, blue collar worker, rough on the edges, drinker and self proclaimed 'asshole'. I should of paid attention to the obvious warning signs, but my curiosity was sparked and I believed I could crack through his hard outer shell. It was only a matter of time before this guy revealed his true colors and buckled from the pressure of a sincere relationship and positive woman.

From this day on, I will be cautious to trust. I understand now why some people are reluctant to put their guards down. Some people enjoy hurting others and will simply not care when it's all said and done.

Expect Nothing Appreciate Everything

Ever been bummed because you expected to be treated a certain way or that you deserved something and never got it? Throw the words 'deserve' and 'expect' out of your mentality and you just might find the key to living a content, happy life.

It may seem like a strange philosophy but it makes logical sense when you really think about people and control. A person can really only control their own actions and thoughts. Think about all the wasted time and energy people spend trying to change other's opinions and or actions. This often leads to stress, anger and resentment. All because of some created expectations that were never mutually agreed upon.

Imagine expecting nothing and being thankful for everything. A simple text, a kind gesture, a little conversation would be wonderful. A less than satisfying backrub, cheap dinner, short meeting, awkward silence, or rainy day would also be wonderful. Anything given from someone would be like a bonus. You would have no disappointment, anger or unmet expectations. Just gratitude for something more than what you had on your own.

I felt like I should share this philosophy because lately I've heard a lot of people talk about deserving things in life and being mad about not getting them. Life has only one promise and that is death. It has taken years for me to understand this philosophy and is something I am constantly working at. It's not always easy to appreciate the bad or frustrating things or situations in life, but the burden can be lightened.

Try incorporating it into your life and I bet you will have stronger relationships and be much happier. Share your thoughts!

Cell Phone MIA

36 hours without my cell phone and I'm starting to turn into a crazy lady; well at least, one lady I'm sure thinks so.

After having my eyes dilated at Stein Optical, I returned to TJ Max where I have concluded is the last place I had my dear cell phone. I went directly to the customer service counter and started to explain my lost cell phone situation. The customer service I received from the employee was disappointing. The lady was uncompassionate and ,by the way she examined my eyes, must of thought I was on a magical acid trip. She did nothing to help me locate my cellie. This only added to my irritability. Where is an acid stip when you really need one? lol

So I did a little therapy shopping; however, the constant thought of spending $100 on a new cell phone and the starish looking lights didn't make for a good therapy session.

I'm not a happy camper right now. On the brightside 2 great things happened this week, I received a promotion at my job and my health is starting to improve. Guess I just need to suck it up and go purchase a new phone and get myself out of this rut. Life is good and sometimes minor setbacks happen.

Dinner 4 One Please

I had a first tonight. I braved going out in public to eat at a sit down restaraunt alone. It's something I've never done and, to be honest, thought was only something lonely, business people do. My experience has changed my thinking. It was actually quite liberating. I enjoyed the moments of solitude, not having to entertain someone over meaningless conversation and deal with the somewhat uncomfotable game of 'Who's Picking Up the Tab?' Tonight it was all about me and it was enjoyable. I had a craving to be out and an appetite for shephard's pie.

My mission is complete, my tummy is full, my mind is clear and my sketchbook has a few more drawings. I have an ambitious soul and I'm not waiting around for someone to do something with. If I want it, I'll get it and I won't hold back just because I'm on my own. I am my own best friend.