With Age Comes Wisdom

Below is some advice from an elderly woman, Maya Angelou, who was interviewed by Oprah about growing older. On television, she said it was 'exciting...' Regarding body changes she said there were many, occurring every day and that her breasts ‘seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist first!
Maya Angelou also said this:

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Maya Angelou

Less Talk & More Action

Life is too short to be miserable. Get off your behind and start living! Want to travel and see the world? Want to lose some weight? Want to be happy? Want to find the love of your life? Want to let go of all the crap that holds you back in life? Then do it! “Less talk and more action” should be everyone’s 2012 resolution.

Last year, I set a goal of 5 trips around the United States and at first I thought that goal would be near impossible, but then as I was traveling I realized it was attainable. I wasn’t financially strained or stressed because I made it a priority in my life.

In 2012, I plan to travel someplace new every two months. 2 of the 6 trips will be outside of the country. I have one life to live and I’m going to see the world! I’m sick of people saying they wish they could do something, be something or see something and then they never do it. That’s just useless energy.

We aren’t getting any younger so utilize your youth, talents and the gifts given and make things happen. The past is the past. Today there is an opportunity. The future is uncertain; however, when the future is here I plan to look back upon my life and know I accomplished having a life filled with adventure, joy and a few good scares to tell the stories.

Next stop Denver, Colorado for some snowboarding in the mountains. What do you want to do? Do it today!

Screw Protecting Your Heart

My calloused heart has turned soft and I'm ready to invite love back into my life. Screw playing childish games. You’re never going to find what you want if you’re not your authentic self.

I've recently reentered the dating scene and, for the most part, I've seen and met several potential men. However, I've noticed I do a lot of self protecting. For example: when my close friends ask how a date went I’ve responded, "It went great. However, he works too much, isn’t tall enough and might be the player type.” My choice in words and train of thought have allowed for me to come off as if I don't really care if it works out or not; however in hindsight, I do hope and want it to work out. Self protecting makes me feel that the world won't know if I end up disappointed or rejected.

So from now on, I'm going to be honest about what I want and I'm going to tell my friends and family how much I hope things will work out with my dates. I'm going to be my authentic self and with every failure turn up the dial on hope. If you want love you can't just reveal a smidgen of it, you have to open the whole door. And if you get hurt, so be it. We will likely get hurt either way if we had opened it or kept it closed.

Self protection lowers your hope. It's also a straight up lie to yourself. You're pretending that you don't want something you really truly want and that's foolish. You have to take chances with finding what you want in life. You also have to be your authentic self; otherwise, the person falling for you is actually falling for the person you want them to perceive you to be.

Through the years we have all been hurt and our hope for incredible love starts to fade. I challenge you to rediscover the scary world of hope if you want true love. Wear your heart on your sleeve and with each day or date you'll be closer to finding a partner that will match your wants and lifestyle.

I'm one day closer to having mi media naranja, which means 'my half orange' in Spanish, used to describe someone's beautiful, perfect other half.

Expect Nothing Appreciate Everything

Ever been bummed because you expected to be treated a certain way or that you deserved something and never got it? Throw the words 'deserve' and 'expect' out of your mentality and you just might find the key to living a content, happy life.

It may seem like a strange philosophy but it makes logical sense when you really think about people and control. A person can really only control their own actions and thoughts. Think about all the wasted time and energy people spend trying to change other's opinions and or actions. This often leads to stress, anger and resentment. All because of some created expectations that were never mutually agreed upon.

Imagine expecting nothing and being thankful for everything. A simple text, a kind gesture, a little conversation would be wonderful. A less than satisfying backrub, cheap dinner, short meeting, awkward silence, or rainy day would also be wonderful. Anything given from someone would be like a bonus. You would have no disappointment, anger or unmet expectations. Just gratitude for something more than what you had on your own.

I felt like I should share this philosophy because lately I've heard a lot of people talk about deserving things in life and being mad about not getting them. Life has only one promise and that is death. It has taken years for me to understand this philosophy and is something I am constantly working at. It's not always easy to appreciate the bad or frustrating things or situations in life, but the burden can be lightened.

Try incorporating it into your life and I bet you will have stronger relationships and be much happier. Share your thoughts!

Patience the Companion of Wisdom

Patience seems to be a virtue I have struggled to acquire. In this rapid world of instant solutions, microwave ovens and high speed Internet, it seems that patience is a wise lesson many of us don't seem to learn and quite frankly don't make time for.Without patience, we seem to find ourselves overly stressed and lacking in anything significant. Patience is about accepting the present moment and waiting out the future.

Waiting out the future seems to be where I want to start pulling out my hair and grinding my teeth. It's as if, I want to figure out the end of the story or problem by skipping all the steps it takes to get to the solution or outcome. This ultimately leads to me being dissatisfied. 

The good things in life take time. Pain and suffering need to come along the way, so that we can experience bliss. The reason is because pleasure isn't as enjoyable without the pain, so we have to be patient and endure our lives and accept our situations to be able to experience the bliss that will come in time.

Right now, I'm in a transition period and I have to be patient. I don't want to be. However, I know that I'll find exactly what I'm looking for in a career, home and love life if I am. It's hard for me to sometimes take my own advice; however, it's something I must do.

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.” -Anonymous

The Kind of Woman I'd Like My Daughter 2 Be

Ever stuck between a rock and hard place? It's a place that no matter what you do you are pretty much fucked (pardon my French).

I was in one of those places this past month and I finally decided to squeeze my size 7 ass out. After much deliberation and courage, I vacated my boyfriend's home.

Now, this was not an easy task and it did not go as expected. I was informed that if I moved, the relationship was to conclude. So I left. I don't need to justify my reasons, since I still care. However, the thought of the kind of woman I'd like my future daughter to be gave me much encouragement.

No, I'm not prego and there is no one on the side. I needed a push to make a decision and the advice that I would give to my future daughter gave me the needed umf. My inner voice was telling me something and I quietly listen.

So if you are ever in one of those difficult situations, think about the advice you would give someone that means the world to you. Someone you created and invested blood, sweat and tears for. It will help you to make the best decision no matter how hard it can be.

Stronger Woman by Jewel --Listen to the song that inspired me to keep on going and to not turn the truck around.

Why Hate?

Why do some people in relationships have to get to the point of hating each other to leave each other? It boggles my mind.

I think if two people care for each other and the relationship becomes sour they should be able to discuss their concerns and logically understand why the relationship is drawing to a close. Instead, many couples engage in huge arguments and take cheap blows over things that are not the core problem within the relationship. It’s as if ruining a relationship forever, is easier than communicating to each other that it’s just not working.

EPHIPHANY ALERT! Aw there is my answer. I think it’s easier to hate someone you love for inadequate reasons, than to accept that you and this person would be happier with someone else. Maybe there truly is “a thin line between love & hate". 

I think it’s completely possible to walk away from a broken relationship and to not hate or despise your partner. Sadness and anger may linger because the bond you once shared has changed; but, hatred should not. Now if your boyfriend or girlfriend is leaving you for your sister or best friend, than I’d likely call them a ‘whore’ and consider hatred. However, to hate because someone is not happy is foolish.

My mom once said to me, “You can choose to be miserable for a short part of your life or for the rest of you life.” When I can see myself being unhappy as an old married woman, I get scared. I don’t want to be miserable. I want to be joyful, respectful, faithful and lovingful (did you like my new word lol?). I am aware that things won’t always be peachy, but there are some things we all can choose to tolerate or not tolerate in a relationship.

So alas comes where I tell you why I have been pondering this question. Well my relationship has drawn sour and I feel that things are about to get ugly. I am no saint, but I feel that I’ve used up all my resources. I’m to the point of being mad at myself for staying in the relationship. It seems that communication really is the key to a successful relationship and I seem to constantly be talking to a wall.

If anything, I’m becoming wiser, less open and more focused upon myself.

So how do you deal with the 'hate phase'?
This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the split was, the circumstances, and how long it took to make the final break. You may resent your ex for wasting your time. You may realize that the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time and energy to rip yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. There are so many positive things you can do with your emotions and energy. Although it may feel good to replace your feelings of love towards your ex with hate, this can still lead to complications and mixed emotions of love and hate which are never a good thing.

Soulmates Reality or Torture Device?

Post from 7/10/10. Why did I censor my thoughts back then?

So you may think there is that one person out in this world that could compliment it; stop lying to yourself; you are only torturing your mind. THEY DON'T EXIST!

I don't  believe in there being that ONE SOULMATE. Yes, I think your soul has a place holder position for those you feel strongly for, but I think your soul can love many; however,  it needs time to absorb and dissolve partners.

I think  a person can be loved by many and love many; however, the more you love the less you are able to find pleasure in love. It as if your soul becomes callous, strengthened, protected and able to defend itself from letdown the more you try to share it with.

These are my thoughts, whether good or bad, numb or sad.

The contemplation of a single partner for a soulmate has crossed my mind lately because my boyfriend is someone who wants MY future. Don't get me wrong he is a great guy; but, GREAT doesn't mean I wouldn't find amazing, fantastic, out of this world,  or another great guy out there. Yes, those definitions are far fetched; but what I am saying is, if it is not him there will be someone else. Just because Prince Charming at the moment comes a hot and steady on his white horse doesn't mean I need to jump into the saddle with him.

So if you are living with the thought that you erased, missed, haven't found, fucked-over or messed up on your SOULMATE, honey STOP! You are worth something more than what you have had. You will find what you are looking for. Yes, you may need to redefine what your definition is for the man you want to spend your life with; but, the more you learn what you want and don't want the closer you are to knowing what your soul needs. The thought of a soulmate to me is a torture device. Keep cranking on it and you are bound to feel pain.

(Now slice your wrist BITCH-says Gabby) ----I am glad someone want's to read and listen to my thoughts.

SCREAM and Let It Out

I literally SCREAMED as loud as I could twice today and it felt AMAZING! The sensation I had afterward made me smile and giggle.

I needed to just release all the bulls-shit that has been on my mind lately. All day I had stressful thoughts and emotions going threw my brain. It was starting to make me feel depressed and sick. I just needed to free myself from this tension but I didn't know how. I thought to scream at the top of my lungs while staring at my computer in my cubicle; but that would have resulted in the entire second floor of Kohl's thinking I was dying or crazy.

So after work while I was doing 75 on the freeway, I looked around me to ensure no other drivers could see me and I just let my windshield have it! I let my INNER BITCH ROAR and it felt oh so good. I actually surprised myself at how loud my scream was. The raspyness in my vocal cords came together into one loud tone and my diaphragm tightened. It was a feeling that I have not felt since I was a child screaming because things weren't going my way.

After the first scream I smiled and felt the need to just give it one more scream! After the second scream, I giggled and I felt a sense of peace. As if I had just overcome something triumphant.

I felt instantly like I was back in control of my life. I have been wanting to scream for the past couple weeks. I was just too concerned with how others would interpret or react to my scream, so I put it off and assumed it was just foolish.

So if you have stress and crap going on in your life: SCREAM! If you feel like your starting to lose yourself in this great big world: SCREAM! Find a secluded spot and just let it out. You just might be happy you did. Make sure to share you experience with someone close to you.

My Teenage Good Idea Dissapearing

I may appear to be confident and to have no physical insecurities, but do not let my outgoing personality fool you. I have imperfections, parts of my body I would like to change and a crooked tattoo of the letter 'M' located on my mid-right bicep that I am ashamed of. The tattoo was one of my rebellious 'good ideas' I had with two of my girlfriends at the age of 13.

We were going to be 'Best Friends For Life' and we stabbed our first initial from our first names into our arms to prove it. We used a pen, sewing needle, thread an some cheap Indio ink from Spencer’s Gifts to create the tattoos.

At the time, a blood oath just wasn't rebellious enough. I mainly liked the idea that I could appear to be older with a tattoo. I sported my prison looking tattoo with pride the first two years. My bad ass tattoo wasn't cool for very long. By the time I became 17, I realized that this tattoo didn't make me look older; it made me look like a young punk who was raised in the ghetto. I wanted it removed or else covered but I couldn't afford to have it removed and wasn't legally an adult to get a professional tattoo. So I just had to live with it.

Thank fully, I never gave into having a tattoo placed over the 'M'. After 7 years of waiting, I went to the Cosmetic Laser Center and had my first laser tattoo removal procedure. The laser didn't hurt too bad and I can already see the tattoo dissolving into my skin. I feel an immense amount of pride to be able to have this tattoo removed for myself. I have been hiding my arm from the world for too long and I can't wait to not feel ashamed of my body.

So if you have been hiding something about yourself: get it fixed or work on improving that area of your body. We only get one body, one lifetime to live, and should never be ashamed of what we look like. I feel like this is one of the best gifts I can give to myself right now. I will forever have the 'M' scar, but have gained an appreciation for my natural self. Also, it’s a story for my future children about why not to get a tattoo or why it’s important to wait till you can have one done professionally.

What is love?

With Valentine's Day just around the corner a person can't help but think about love. Either you're in it, want it, hiding it or running from it. Whatever your current love state is, how do you know when you're in it?

I've been contemplating my status of love lately. Trying to figure out when or how I know that I love someone. Wondering if I base my state of love upon my feelings or my logic. My logical side keeps my feet on the ground so that I don't float away by infatuation and ultimately react to something that just doesn't exist.

The three words "I love you" can easily slip from my lips towards a family member or close friend; however, sending those words towards a boyfriend is a different scenario. When I was younger, I projected those words within the first month of having a boyfriend. My young naive self was in such a rush to be loved that the holding of hands and first passes over a couple bases were the closest things to feeling love.

As I've matured and had more relationships, I have started to realize what love is and what it is not. I have had more opportunity to love and be loved. With opportunity has come frugality (less desperation). The downside of this is that the lusty love that once filled my young body with butterflies, brain with romance, and afternoons with fairytale daydreams has began to disappear and with it some of the excitement that I've believed my whole life of what love can and should be. I was desperate for love as a teenager. Now as an adult, I'm content with it or without it. Of course I want it, but I'm able to live without it. And that is where I find myself today, wondering what is love? 

Is it the fear that you could not live happy without that one person in your life? Is it a feeling you can have for multiple people? Are the words "I love you" only to be said to the person you plan and can see yourself marrying? Is it just purely accepting someone for exactly how they are? Is it ok to love someone and to know they will only be in your life for a limited time? Does love give up? Is love boring? 


I guess when I think about old people who love one another and put aside all of the excitement, romance, sexual stuff....my definition would be: Love: being committed and respectful to someone you admire and accepting them for who they are. Hmm this was just something that was on my mind and I felt I needed to share it. Happy Valentine's Day everyone. May love knock on your heart and may you be able to invite it in. 

The Girl In the Red Dress

Every woman should own and wear a red dress once in her life. A classy black dress does no justice to the way a woman can feel when she is wearing the color of seduction, passion, violence and warfare.

To be the center of the room's attention, to be the glowing girl who stands out in the pictures, to feel every single man's eyes (and woman's) upon her as she walks so poised across the room with confidence. The men will love her and the women will hate her. There is just something about wearing the color red that makes a woman feel powerful and hot.

In fact, studies on colors have shown that the color red can have a physical effect upon a person, increasing the rate or respiration and raising a person's blood pressure. I'm sure it can raise other things too. So ladies if your prime years have not passed you, break the routine of wearing black and buy yourself a red dress. Unlesh the diva within you.

Anxious, Anger and Afraid the 3 A's to Avoid

My mom is my inner voice during times of need or change. Her words have not only echoed in my life, but in the lives of those who have seeked me for guidance. I've told many women this quote from my mother. It's something that has inspired me and allowed for me to make positive change.

"God doesn't want these 3 A's in your life: anxiousness, anger, and being afraid. If you feel either of these give it to God and realize that these are things that are not healthy and good for you."

So whenever I feel afraid, angry or anxious in a situation and I'm not in a stubborn mood :); I realize that this is not what God wants in my life and I make positive change.

Appreciating the Small Things

The smell of fresh cut grass
cherry blossoms flying into my hair
dandelions between my toes
a cool breeze brushing my bangs across my cheek
a clear blue sky with a blinding sun
time to enjoy a beautiful spring afternoon in solitude
dipping my feet into the cold lake
sitting on a bench taking in the view
finding comfort and meditation from the sun's rays

A few things that allow for me to love where I am at in life and the greatest thing: they're free

One Flaw of Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left..
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you..

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Secret to a Happy Life

I might not have much at the age of 23, but what I do have is happiness. 

I was thinking lately about money and the future and I came to realize that money only makes life more complicated. So I was thinking, why am I so happy right now? And what I realized is people should come up with a list of 5 things that make them happy. Then remind yourself that this is really all you need, because the more stuff we acquire in our lives, the less time we have to spend doing the 5 things that make us happy. Below is my list:

1. God

2. Looking good (health and clothing)

3. running

4. Family and friends

5. drawing

So I'm going to keep these 5 things in perspective as I go on with life.

Love Today, Don't Wait For Tomorrow

I've learned many important lessons over the past weekend, all which have to do with love. This past weekend someone in my family attempted to commit suicide.

I was extremely scared and shocked about this situation. I didn't know how to make sense of the news. I felt some guilt wondering if I had contributed to this person's decision to end his life. Here are some lessons that I have learned:

1. Express your love for those you care for each day, for tomorrow is never guaranteed

2. The Lord's strength can make your weaknesses stronger

3. When life is hard, family is all that matters

4. That I can unconditionally love no matter what the situation

5. People have secrets and fears, let those you love know they can be open and honest with you

6. Your intuition is almost always right

7. Life is not all blue skies and smiles

8. During times of grief their are moments of laughter

I've gone through hell this past weekend, but I wasn't alone. My immediate family was there too. We were there together and will be stronger because of this situation as a family.

Reject Me and Strengthen Me

3 pointless e-mails and two rejection letters from Kerry and Environment America...how much more rejection can a girl take? So I didn't get either job, I also didn't get two others. I'm feeling a little salty and disappointed but I know that I did all that I could to have received employment. I'm not taking these rejections as a personal set back, if anything it's a step forward because I'm learning the lesson of rejection. I'm going to accept that I didn't get the job and continue the job hunt game. I know the skills and qualifications I have to offer a company and I will find employment.

My biggest fear right now is that I won't have a job in my chosen field after graduation. With 39 days until graduation and 39 days left of insurance, I'm starting to feel a little pressure upon my shoulders. How can I enjoy my graduation when I don't have a job lined up afterward in which I can apply my education to?

So I guess it's more cover letters and resumes being placed out there. Otherwise time to be an entrepreneur and start my own agency. Maybe recruit other J-schoolers who are having difficulty finding a career and start our own business. It might just work and we might be able to finagle some free P.R.

So when rejection comes in your life, learn from it and realize you've learned an important lesson. Not everything is going to go the way you plan it or hope for, but what's great about rejection is that when you're not rejected you have a greater appreciation. That can be applied to all things in life and it can also be used in an interview as a good example of something not going your way :).

Stop, Pause and Capture a Moment

Oh there are random moments that I simply stop the hustle and bustle of my busy life...stand still, look around, breath, and capture the moment as if I have an internal camera. I take these life images and save them for my future. For I know one day, these are the days I'm going to miss, these are the days that I will wish to live again.

I take in the Madison city smell, feel the cool breeze brush my hair across my cheek, admire people who pass smiling, watch as the leaves and garbage glide across the sidewalk, listen to the small birds sing, notice how the clouds transform before my eyes and just watch life happen.

I don't only take in beautiful moments, I capture stressful moments when things seem to be troubling my young mind. A good example of this was two weeks ago I was up late studying for my "Political Science of Human Rights" exam and I looked up from my 13 page study guide at 1:00 am. My attention from cramming for four hours started to take a toll on my ability to focus. I looked around my apartment from the comfort of my bed. I surveyed my belongings, the way the layers of paint collect in the corners of the upholstery, the way the small light next to my bed cast shadows along the walls, and I smiled. I was proud of my life and exactly how it is. I might not have much, but what I do have I'm fortunate to have. I might not have money, the coolest gadgets, and an accumulating amount of credit card debt, but it's okay. I know one day I'll be beyond this point in my life. But I know deep down when I'm creating the next chapter in my life, I'll always miss this cozy inadequate at times college student lifestyle. I simply love my life and when I capture simple moments...I realize how great it is. I hope to one day look back upon my internal photo album and feel joy.

So as they say, "take sometime to smell the roses" it will allow for you to appreciate where you are and where you have been.

Living 4 Today vs. Living 4 Tomorrow

I swear time speeds up the older we get. I believe it's due to our fast-paced American culture. We have so many time commitments, things expected of us, material items we have to own, that we fill our busy Blackberries and calendars and lose slight of the present.

Sometimes I find myself to be so focused on the future, that I begin to worry about it, which leads to me being stressed out in the present moment.

When we worry about what may or may not occur in the future, we miss the joy that is available today. It's a paradox. How does one balance living in the now with preparing responsibly for the future?

Planning for the future is fully compatible with living joyfully today. The other aspect of preparing for the future is accepting that things will probably not turn out the way we plan. Creating this acceptance of life's uncertainties is much more challenging than formulating and following through on plans.The source of most worry is a lack of acceptance of the uncertainties of the future. When one fully lives a life of acceptance, life's vagaries are not merely tolerated, but are enjoyed because they are life's gifts.

The recipe for a joyful life is planning and preparing for the future, while simultaneously accepting that you hold virtually no control over future events. By placing no demands on the future, you can enjoy whatever life brings.

My faith has predominantly helped me to deal with my worry. I know that God loves me and has a plan for my life. My faith allows for me to not worry, because his plan will be revealed over time.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha