"Get the Hell Out"- from Grandma

(I wrote this entry August 4th, 2010 and I felt inclined to post it. It may give someone strength to make a tough decision for their future. Sometimes we have to go through hard times to find great times. I'm happy to say I'm standing on my own two feet again.)

So I never admitted it on this blog, but I moved in with my now ex-boyfriend. I've always believed that a man and woman should wait till marriage or engagement to shack up.  However, I needed to touch the flame to know it was hot. This situation didn't fit the 'mefocused' theme and I let it slide from the page, but now I feel inclined to share.

The warm flame extinguished last night when I made it clear that today was my day to vacate. I did this because the more I learned about him, the more I knew I and any future kids (in my eyes) would be walking on egg shells. Before I even moved in, I knew something was not right; however, denial and the hope of love changing things made me think otherwise. His temper grew and with it my longing to escape. I care very deeply for this guy, but I realize this is not what I want out of a partner.

So I left. I feel horrible, miserable, sad, exhausted and unsure about my future; however, I know that I'll persevere. With Patience and time my heart will mend and I'll be back solid on my own two feet.

When your inner voice tells you to run you should get the fuck out! Or as my grandma said from her hospital bed, "Get the hell out!" Now those are words from a wise woman who has experienced a lifetime of disappointment and tough decisions.

What Do You Want In a Relationship?

Have you tossed, burned, deleted, shredded or forgotten your husband shopping list? If not, it might be time  to destroy it (read my previous blog). If you enjoy lists, I’ve come up with a new list and this one might be more beneficial in your search for finding a lasting, wonderful relationship. It’s a relationship want list, because it's not the physical details of a man that matter, but about how the two of you will be together in a relationship. 

We all want a good relationship but many of us focus too much on a list of man wants. Do you think you want a guy that is funny? YOU DON”T. What you do want is a relationship full of laughter and humor which makes you laugh and your partner laugh. Do you think you want an athletic guy? YOU DON”T. You want a relationship where you both live a healthy lifestyle. Do you think you want a guy with tattoos and motorcycle? YOU DON’T. You want a relationship with edge and excitement.  

It’s important to start looking for the type of relationship you want, instead of what kind of man you want. This might allow for you to reflect upon your own self and make you become the type of person your desired man would want. I’ve created my relationship list and it’s actually a very simple list of things that are of value to me. Start your list and soon you'll be off to having a meaningful relationship!

Dumping My Husband-Shopping List

I'll admit that I once created a list of all the qualities and attributes I wanted in a partner. Let's just say my list was not short (it was over 2 pages single spaced). Going forward with my dating life I am dumping my husband-shopping list. I am in the market for a good person with similar relationship goals, values and shared interests.

Many of you may not have a physical list, but I'm sure many of you have a list in your head. You may require your partner to have or be a certain body type, hair color, intelligence level, educational background, family structure, particular interest and the requirements or wants go on and on. The thing is some of the qualities on our lists are not important when it comes down to finding a partner to form a happy marriage with. We also might be overlooking Mr. Right because of one single insignificant thing. The real things that may be the most important are common relationship goals, values, individual needs and shared interests.

2011 Word

HUMILITY is the word I plan to incorporate into the 2011 year. Forget creating a resolution; we all know that resolutions only last so long and are bound for failure. This year I plan to attempt being selfless with my thoughts and actions. This means I plan to focus on volunteering, sensoring my mouth from derogatory conversations and being a better person in general. Not that I'm a bad person, but everyone has room for improvement.

Humilty: "the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc (Dictionary.com)."

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all are working at something to better yourselves as well.