I didn’t miss you. I didn’t wish that the day would come where you would return and hold my hand so tightly. That your footsteps would walk in sync with mine no matter how fast I try to run. Your grasp at times feels paralyzing. Numbing my mood and forcing me to fake a smile. Your silent words taunt me and create visions that make my stomach turn. You make me doubt my decisions, make me feel pity for the person I see in the mirror, have taken my recent dreams and torn them apart.
At times I feel like I can escape you; however, you are there each night I lie awake in bed. You are there each time my phone rings and are the reminder that wakes me each morning.
I won’t let you break me and I will not let you allow me to fall apart. I fully accept you back into my life. I know that your presence is temporary. I know with time, the force of your grasp will become my strength. You will become the beam that draws the next wonderful person into the light of my life. I know what I am capable of and I know what I can provide.
I saved a little love for myself and I welcome you, Loneliness!
Sincerely,
Mary Jean
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